Episode Five – Tell Me In Confidence

[Two Months Ago]

Kotone’s POV

“It’s pouring hard…” I said with some bags in my hand and the umbrella in the other. I was going home from the supermarket after I bought things to make some dinner for myself. Due to my miscalculation and misuse of time I spent longer than I needed, and rain started to drop.

“Well… good thing I always have a foldable one inside my purse… I would’ve been done if it hadn’t been the case…” Walking through the familiar roads, some overflowing with water as the drainage did little to stop them, I hummed a simple tune as the bullet-feeling raindrops fell with no end to the top of my umbrella.

As I walked, my eyes fell on another figure, at the other side of the road I was walking in. Their way of walking seemed weak, their clothes were drenched and their black hair was messy. For security purposes, I continued walking without calling out, and once I was a little in front of them, I secretly took a peak from where I was.

Once my gaze landed on their face and as I tried to make out their expression… It seemed familiar. I stopped on my tracks, the sound of rain drowned in the background as the only audible sounds were the water being kicked up as the person walked…

The only sound… being the footsteps that my junior, who seemed to be merely a shell of its former self… kicked up.

“…Segawa…?” I blurted out, the other person’s whole body flinched, and shivering… they locked eyes with me. His obsidian eyes which usually had a sparkle of joy in them were empty, his face distorted in an agonic and sorrowful expression.

As if witnessing a murder scene.

They looked at me for a moment, eyes wide open… and then, with the weakest of voices, he stammered slightly. “K-Kotone…?” With that, my intuition was right. The person in front of me was none other than the intermediator for our student council.

Ichirou Segawa.

“W-what happened to you?!” In a panic, and worried for his health, I quickly ran up to him, dropping my umbrella in the process. His body shivered violently, his hands were wrinkled due to the prolonged contact with the water, and his breathing was ragged and uneven, it was clear he was not fine.

“Nothing… I-I’m fine…” (Ichirou)

“What do you mean by ‘I’m fine’?! You’re clearly not!” I said in desperation as I cupped his face on my hands, he locked eyes with me, and in a weak voice he once again tried to tell me he was fine… yet he bursted into tears instantly.

Without missing a beat, I hugged him and took his head to my chest, caressing his damp black hair. As the sound of sobs reached my ears, I only stayed quiet, letting him vent out his emotions as much as he liked.

“Why…? Why did things turn out like this…?” (Ichirou)

Suddenly, in between sobs, Segawa muttered in frustration and with a hint of indignity things I couldn’t understand… a pain I couldn’t understand.

“For whom do they think that hard work was for?” He continued… and as if mirroring his emotions, the rain poured harder. And even with no clouds or fog… the night was starless.

Only the crescent moon was visible in the sky, the moonlight being a good natural source of light… but not good enough to reach him and fully light up his path.

“For whom… have I been working so hard… for?” Matching his stronger emotions, his hold on my back also tightened, which didn’t feel uncomfortable, as if unconsciously making sure not to hurt me.

“Segawa… y-you’ll catch a cold if you stay here… come with me, I’ll give you a change of clothes from Kei’s…” I said as I gently took his hand and led the way, picking up the umbrella and placing it above us… which was pretty useless considering we were already wet.

Well, let’s not sweat the details.

✦•✦•✦

“…Thank you for the bath… sorry if I’m being a bother…” (Ichirou)

In the meantime, I guided Segawa to the guest’s bathroom while I took a quick shower in the upstairs bathroom, I placed my wet clothes on the washing machine, and after Segawa also placed his, I turned it on.

I went to the kitchen, motioning Segawa to sit down on the couch while I prepared something hot for him to drink. The cold wind, a product of the heavy rain, could seriously affect his health after all.

“Don’t worry. It’s only me tonight, so if anything, I’m grateful for the company.” As a precaution, I sent a message to my mother, explaining to her about the situation. I didn’t want to make assumptions so the contents of my message only stated who they were and the basic understanding of the situation.

My mother sent another message to tell me that it was okay, and if she needed anything to just call her. Without the detail that both of my parents were out of town for a business trip, her help was appreciated.

I did the same with Karane and Kei, my brother readily agreed to lend him some clothes and that was the end of it.

(Just remember to use protection~)

Was the last message he sent me before going offline.

Protection? What does he mean? I tilted my head, not really knowing what he meant. I was snapped to reality by the sound of my coffee maker, making me know that it was done. I took out the mugs and poured the warm liquid inside both of them, not bothering to grab some sugar since I already knew Segawa’s tastes.

“Here, some coffee should do the trick!” I said, as I handed him the mug, which he took in his hand, hesitantly taking a sip after receiving it. “…thanks… It’s good.” He said, with a weak smile that was unlike him.

I took a closer look at him, searching for signs of any potential discomfort, with the warm drink going down his throat, he blinked which caused his eyes to readjust to light, looking up I saw that his eyes now had the characteristic light inside them.

Yet it looked somehow fake.

“God~! You saved me, haha! Well… this is quite embarrassing! I never thought someone I knew would see me in that state… To forget my umbrella like that, how clumsy can yours truly be~ Hehe~” (Ichirou)

“…If you’re good enough to make jokes now, mind telling me what happened to you? I’m worried about you.” I honestly told him.

“Ah~ It’s just a mood swing~ You know, the usual thing in adolesce— [Stop lying.] —eh?” I’m sorry but I’ll have to interrupt you right there.

“There is something bothering you, and I’ve noticed it for a while now, in fact. I know that the others probably noticed it too, but they don’t want to look pushy. So now, since the opportunity rose… please, whatever is bothering you… and if it’s something I myself can help with, even if it’s a little—”

—Do tell me in confidence.

✦•✦•✦

Ichirou’s POV~

“…even if it’s a little… do tell me in confidence.” All other sounds drowned in the background, my heart beats faster and I find myself unconsciously grabbing the clothes I was wearing with my hands. My eyes swim across the living room the two of us were in.

The living room within the confines of Kotone’s place, the sanctuary where she felt safe.

“Uhm… that’s a bit… I don’t want to bother you… so…” I tried to be dismissive about it, however, the guilt would be eating me. Before Kotone could say something else, I spoke up. “Actually… May I? I-I think I need some… well… help.” (Ichirou)

Kotone looked at me wide-eyed, but ultimately smiled. “Sure, as long as you’re comfortable with it, I don’t mind.” Kotone appropriately took a seat next to me, and let me organize my words. I tried not to make it obvious, but I felt captivated by her smile. Behind those violet eyes were the shiniest of lights, her violet hair fell to one of her shoulders, an appearance that many would like to witness.

But there was no time to admire her, I thought inwardly on how I could convey my words the best. I wanted to get my point across, but I didn’t want to look like I was playing the victim card. Finally, I decided on a path, whether the good or bad ending played on, it was on me.

“Well… it’s mostly a family affair… R-remember the day on summer vacation where I got sick? When you came… and I ultimately told you I lived alone…” (Ichirou)

“Yeah, I do.” She nodded.

“Well, my parents normally work abroad… it has been that way for… more than a year now… Normally, I told them not to worry and I saw them off without a problem… but I haven’t seen them since then… They… left a month or so before my birthday… They told me they would be around for it this year… but… well, they canceled on me.” (Ichirou)

“…” (Ichirou)

“I just… convinced myself that it was just expected… I mean… It’s because of my parent’s jobs that I can have this life that many can find luxurious… so, I don’t want to impose on them… hicc… Still… hicc… I miss them…” I thought I was pretty good at containing my emotions, but before I knew it I felt streaks of warmth flowing down my cheeks.

I… was kind of regretting talking about this. I’ve been accustomed to rely on no one but myself for personal problems. In my own judgment, I fit better in the role of a ‘fixer’ than in the ‘one that needs fixing’.

No one is responsible for your own problems.

Suck it up and act as a man.

You’re a highschooler now, yet you still need mommy and daddy?

“Just because you can have a ‘luxurious’ life, does not mean you have any less right to reach out to them, to tell them something is bothering you.” Her soft voice reached me, she traced the rim of her glass with care, gazing at the contents within with affection, as if they were a living being. A being as bitter as coffee.

“Take me, for example… compared to the other people, I can say with confidence that I live in a position higher than the middle class, yet lower than the higher class… But does that take away my right of not feeling satisfied?” (Kotone)

“In a way… I think it does…” (Ichirou)

“Hmph.” Kotone pouted. “That’s not the point I want to make!” Like a small kid throwing a tantrum, she flailed her arms in the air. “My point is, I’m a kid too. No matter how well off I am financially, that’s not enough to fill a kid’s heart. The parent’s presence is a must. That’s why whenever I feel the need, I reach my parents in confidence… so I believe you should too.”

“Hm…” Well… she does have a point… Still…

“There’s not much they can do… They need these trips to grow their business… This was their dream all along… I have no—” (Ichirou)

“Even if you have no right to take away their dream, don’t you have a right to participate in it? Isn’t the picture supposed to be bigger than it already is?” (Kotone)

“…I… guess you’re right…” (Ichirou)

“?!” Just as I was lost in thought, I felt a sudden motion, I was falling suddenly, and as I felt Kotone’s warmth from behind my head, she took me to her chest, without a single word.

“Even if I am… I don’t have a right to meddle in your affairs… so this is just some advice… I can’t dictate how you or your parents feel after all… but… just for this very moment… let me show you how much of a reliable senior I am…” (Kotone)

My head felt fuzzy, I felt warm and safe within her arms.

This truly is pathetic… I said as I surrendered myself to these thoughts.

The desire to be close like this.

The desire to monopolize this warmth for myself.

The desire to burn every single word she says in my head.

The desire to know that she sees me the same way I see her.

The desire to share the same views with her.

I felt myself growing drowsy, “It’s okay, I’ll wake you up when the rain is over.” She said, as she gently caressed my hair. Right, this has always been the person I’ve looked up to.

But… mere admiration no longer satisfies me…

Damn it… I really…

—Fell in love with her.

Such was my final thought, as I fell asleep.