Liar Mii-kun and Broken Maa-chan - Chapter 3 - Night Seeking the Black with a Hint of Egoism

On October 7th I encountered the scene where Nagase Tōru was confessed to by a boy.

It’s impressive that I remembered even the exact time of day. It was during cleaning time, adjacent to the lunch break. 

Nagase, standing next to a shoe box, and a boy with glossy black hair that was wasted on a man.

Without even a “Let me think about it” Nagase turned him down, finishing the appetizer in one bite. Boys will be boys, so leaving a few bitter words, he half-run away in the exact opposite direction to me. Didn’t he even have the guts to grovel on the floor and try to sneak a peek under the skirt? Though it would be hard to form a real human connection with someone who would take that step. 

Nagase, without even looking at him, turned to the opposite side to the boy, that is, to me. 

Lunch break was already over and I was on my way to the cleaning area. Running would be troublesome, so I just stood there.

Seeing me standing with my back to the wall, Nagase was startled and her pupils tightened.

As one would expect, ignoring that would be difficult, and so we both stopped and stared at each other with unease. The first one to open their mouth was Nagase, after all. 

“Peeping?”

It was the first time since we changed our seats that I’d been seated in full view of Nagase’s world.

“I saw you by coincidence and heard you by coincidence. Of course, I won’t tell.”

“I don’t mind if you do. There’s quite a few people who know.”

“…Your Japanese is a bit weird.”

Did this school transmit news at the speed of light? 

“It’s not the first time he’s confessed to me. Once in primary school, once in middle school, and now is the third time,” Nagase said, sounding fed up. I reached a conclusion.

“So he really does love you, Nagase.”

“Now that’s a problem. There was a boy I liked in middle school, and in middle school, I was in the middle of puberty and didn’t want to be embarrassed. Now… I just go with the flow, I guess. Seems what happens twice will happen for the third.”

So she does not like him back. No matter how many times he tries, he won’t succeed.

“By the way, why are you talking like this?(1)”

“It’s a sign of friendliness.”

With the “-ssu,” she would seem friendly even when talking with someone she hated. I have been enlightened-ssu. After she declared that, I replied, “Nah.” Nagase ignored that.

“So, you are concerned about that time, or rather the whole, huh. The name thing.”

“Yeah, you too?”

Nagase nodded her head, somewhat glad. 

The wall of reservations between us melted away, becoming thinner.

“At the primary school’s entrance ceremony, the homeroom teacher looked at the list of names. She said that there was a boy in the girls’ section(2), and the whole class laughed at me. That was tough.” 

Nagase, floating with joy at having found a comrade, spilled all about her life story.

“Other kids didn’t like that, you know, and for a while, I was made fun of because of the color of my backpack and whatnot. ‘Why are you wearing red?’, things like that. As for me, it made my blood boil, ‘I will make you all see red!’, but at that time I wasn’t self-assertive, so I only cried.”

Speaking calmly, Nagase kicked over a trash bin. 

As one of the cleanup committee members, it was I who had to take care of the scattered trash.

“Sorry,” Nagase apologized, somewhat embarrassed. 

“It’s okay.”

“Is there any reason for you?”

“Well, some. More bad ones than good ones.”

I remembered a girl I used to hang out with once upon a time in a den of ill will.

What did she call me?

“The part with hiragana characters, I like it even more, you know. I love it.”

“Shut up, I’ll give it to you, then. Make good use of it.”

“Oh, that’s good.”

“What is?”

“The name. From now on, I am Nagase XX.”

…It hurt my ears, but I did not mishear it. 

“And you are Tōru.”

“We are going to exchange names?”

“Yep.”

“…sure-ssu.”

“Oh, the friendliness effect is multiplying.”

“Why do I even…”

From that point, I became “Tōru” to Nagase. 

But I never once called Nagase by that other name.

I had more of a serious case of name allergy than her.

 

Mayu’s dinner at the hospital was to be served in my hospital room.

Because of Mayu’s picky eating, there was no guarantee that I would be able to eat what was being delivered to us. But since in this medical facility, there was no pity for any living things, unreasonably, any sort of leftovers were met with firm disapproval, and the only way to refuse the food before it was forced into your stomach was to give it to someone else behind closed doors. In other words, it was a wonderful measure by the hospital for the people to realize that living alone was difficult, a lie.

Even though Mayu was opposed, complaining to the hospital and resisting to the bitter end, she reluctantly consented after I begged on my knees and explained it to her. I guess the process of her dislike of food took precedence over her dislike of people.

And now, it’s dinnertime.

“Mii-kun, here.”

“Yes, yes.”

I accepted the small bowl of pickled cucumber from Mayu but did not touch it. If I left any of it behind, Watarai-san would finish it off anyway. Somehow, it all became a familiar scene to me. I’m not involved enough to stop all that forcibly just because eating too much is not good.

The nurse who had already gone to a different hospital room was not to blame. It was her problem too.

Mayu was demolishing a white fish meunière(3) on a tray on the side table. She was removing every single bone that was embedded in it. It was a contrast to the clumsy Nagase. Nagase used to peel apples for Itsuki, but even after she finished peeling the apples, there was still some new red color on the apples. Nagase’s crestfallen expression as she had to have her finger treated at the hospital on the way back home was preserved in the album of my mind.

“Is something wrong?” Mayu’s voice rang. As if unconsciously she had heard Nagase’s words on her way back: “It’s a devilish plot! It must be the result of the plasma! I am a prodigy who spent three years assembling a matchstick house! The skin of an apple has nutritional value, so not to be wasteful, and my hand slipped, blood flowed… I was fooled!” I was about to burst into laughter just thinking back on it.

“It’s nothing,” I replied in a slightly shrill voice. 

Mayu did not take that lightly, her face turning into an expression of disappointment. She stabbed and crunched the fish meat with her chopsticks and gulped down barley tea. During our journey from the private ward to here, Mayu reacted in a  different, aggressive way, contrasting with her reserved, distant attitude towards the man who had casually spoken to her.

“Maa-chan?”

She ignored that with a sour look. Today, she did not bring the chopsticks up to my face and silently chewed. The way she used the chopsticks and her movements were actually quite elegant. Perhaps because she led a lifestyle acknowledged by herself and others as that of a young lady, her manners were impeccable.

Anyway, what was the reason for Mayu’s sudden mood swings? She couldn’t have read my mind. If she had mastered mind-reading, her chopsticks would have gone straight for me, not for the fish.

Later, when we are alone, I will try to find out. Either that or Mayu will initiate on her own. Lining up that future exchange with humor, or indulging her. Then I would ask Mayu some questions and get her to respond. This is not the time to grumble about how Maa-chan is, or how Mii-kun is.

After that, Mayu and I would go to the private room and sleep together. But before that, I’ll take a bath, brush my teeth, and go to the convenience store to make copies of the notes.

And then, I’ll go inspect the newborn corpse that came into this world six days ago.

 

What do people feel when they go to see a dead body?

Fear, curiosity, a sense of disaster? Suspense, horror, mystery?

There were groups of four walking across the abandoned railway tracks to take a look, and there were sensitive ones who could find a meaning to their fate and so from the act of discovering a body. 

But this time, from my point of view, I could only imagine danger first and foremost.

Perhaps it has not yet been made public that Nawa Mitsuaki has become a corpse. She’s still treated as a missing person by the police. After Nawa’s murder, the body was hidden, so it means there is someone who has hidden it. Since hiding implies they don’t want it to be found, there’s no need to worry about them randomly wandering around the hiding place area. So, there was no particular concern in that regard.

However, if I was seen by an unrelated third party, in this case, a nurse patrolling the hospital et cetera, the misinformation could be provided to the policeman every day loitering in the hospital, causing needless mistakes and treating me like the murderer. 

That would be the next best thing to consider since Mayu would not be under suspicion. But it would be premature to come to that approach just yet. Because it was still unclear if this case was related to the person who cracked Mayu’s head. I must not waver from the policy that I should prioritize that incident.

“…”

Ask Mayu to lead me to the place where Nawa Mitsuaki was hidden, deduce the cause of death from the body, and then determine the crime scene from Mayu’s story. To resolve the lack of information, I need to step into danger tonight.

So the first step was to restore Mayu’s mood. 

In Mayu’s hospital room, we were cuddling as usual. I used the edge of the bed as a substitute for a chair and extended my legs toward the center of the room. Mayu’s legs dangled like a pendulum, her face sullen. But sometimes, when a yawn tore out of her, her will of anger would not permeate. 

“Hey, what were you angry about?”

To avoid touching the wound, I reached around the long way, bringing my hand to embrace her shoulder. The evening’s self-torturing thoughts spread bitterly in my mouth. But the heat and scent of Mayu after her bath neutralized it, and she didn’t remove my hand from her shoulder.

Well, isn’t it fine? Since I’m happy.

I unwrapped the bandage without permission, and as I gazed at the hair washed while writhing in agony, the flushed nape of her neck, and the swinging small feet, something within me was purified.

“Now, cheer up.”

I sank and floated alone. Mayu was so good after all, refining happiness without raw materials. My worries disappeared as brilliantly as doves in a magic trick. I might be willing to accept the criticism that, even for a member of the human species, my mental structure is overly simplified, but I think that making straightforward connections is a good thing.

I decided that I liked myself, just a little. Though it seemed impossible.

“So…”

“Hey…”

I was hit with a line. That’s the second time today. I, of course, gave Mayu the right to speak.

Mayu’s swollen cheeks puffed up, and the moistness in her eyes increased.

“Do you hate me?”

“Nonononono, wait!”

Becoming a kabuki actor, I put all my energy into passionately denying, so much that it felt like I might burn a thousand calories, and I got a fever from the mental exertion. Though that’s a real lie. 

Mayu became even more teary-eyed and grabbed at my chest.

“Do you hate me?”

“No, no, that’s not a lie, Japanese is so- no. Of course, I love you, I’m head over heels for you.”

At times like this, it’s difficult to be direct, huh?

“Head over…?”

And she doesn’t even understand. 

“Yeah… To translate it somewhat, it means that I want to live in this city with you.”

Mayu, as expected, didn’t outright applaud, but the amount of water in her eyes somewhat lessened. 

“So, are you not happy being with me?”

She slightly modified the course of the question.

“Because, Mii-kun, you don’t smile at all when talking to me.”

…So that’s what this is about. Something like that we for sure have talked about before. At that time, though, hands and umbrellas flew to follow up on the words. And, encouraged by that, I flew too. Looking back, I think that guy called Mii-kun steered his life in the wrong direction.

But what should I do? It’s pointless if I don’t smile naturally, but so far, I haven’t been able to do that, and it’s not like I can consciously make it happen. It doesn’t suit me in general, and besides, I’m a high school student and not a baseball player. For now, I’m officially a member of a cultural club, anyway.

“It’s fun, that’s for sure.”

In response to Mayu’s questioning look, I simply said what I thought would be a good idea.

“If I didn’t have fun, do you think I’d be together with Maa-chan?”

Yeah, let’s go this route. 

“Don’t know.”

“That’s right, you understand. Because I have fun.”

How about this? I think it’s a reversal of my way of thinking, and not half-bad.

“Then smile!”

She transformed from an intelligent child into a selfish, innocent girl. Two clenched fists intermittently rained down on my upper body. Not going easy on me at all. No such adjustments.

Mayu was insensitive to pain, both mental and physical. It’s not that she doesn’t feel physically, but it was hard for her to connect it with her emotions. She really hated it to the point that, unless she was outright punched in the face by, say, a former psychiatrist, she wouldn’t feel any pain. The opposite was also true. 

“To be honest, my laughing face is really ugly and awkward, so I don’t want Maa-chan to see.”

Though that’s a lie… I desperately tried to convince myself. At least, I want to just be called “not beautiful.”

Regardless, as I was about to sing praises for coming up with such a good pretext, Mayu immediately denied that.

“That’s not true, you know, you are very attractive.”

…A lie, but I’m not blushing. 

“Oh, you know, do you really hate that I don’t smile that much?”

A lie, but my voice was slipping, slimy, and high-pitched with embarrassment.

“It’s not that I hate it. I just want to see you smile when you are with Maa-chan!”

I didn’t understand. But I had to understand.

So, that means, I should follow Mayu’s example. 

…No, that’s impossible. That could work if I was a pretty girl, but I was just a high school boy. Even though Mayu, Nagase, Itsuki, the doctor, and Natsumi all would say my face wasn’t bad, that didn’t mean I could cross-dress. Also, that’s not the point here. My mind was all mixed up. That concludes the thinking.

I gave up on the smoke-and-mirrors method and decided to just take a shot in the dark, seeing whether or not it worked. 

“I don’t smile much,” I said seriously.

Mayu’s movements stiffened, her expression sobering up.

“There’s no reason, and it’s not the kind of problem that requires effort, so I won’t make any more excuses. But, when I’m with Maa-chan, I feel the most carefree, joyful, and happy. I hope you believe that.”

I didn’t grit my teeth, didn’t let my face heat up, didn’t avert my eyes.

I was able to say the response with sincerity, at least with as much as I could. 

Mayu’s clenched fists, both hands striking once.

Then, she stopped.

As if sulking, she plopped her face into my thighs and groaned, “Uuu…”

I wasn’t convinced, but she seemed to have forgiven me.

With that, the tension in my shoulders went away.

I ran my fingers through the river of Mayu’s hair, still not completely dried.

I guess that was technically having a beautiful woman in my lap after a hot bath, though it was somewhat different from how it was supposed to go.

Now, as usual, slow and steady won the race. At last, we could get back to business.

“Hey, I wanted to ask you two things.”

“Mmm.”

“Where was the dead body that Maa-chan saw?”

Mayu raised her previously lowered face and scrunched her face like a cat trying to be intimidating(4), revealing her reddened nose and the scar hidden in the forest of her hair, appearing and disappearing.

“You can’t cheat on me!”

Cheating? Come on, the other party was not even a zombie with a prospect of revival, just a pure, genuine corpse.

She couldn’t move, couldn’t talk, couldn’t laugh, couldn’t cry.

“You can’t cheat with a dead person.”

“Doesn’t matter. I don’t care if she’s dead or not, I don’t want Mii-kun to be interested in anyone but me,” Mayu declared as a matter of course with enraged aloofness.

The extent of her jealousy really was enormous. There are no anti-monopoly laws in relationships, I guess.

But I couldn’t help but feel something irresistible in Mayu’s sensitivity.

That’s what they call an artistic sensibility, I guess. But maybe that’s a lie. 

“It’s not about being interested. I just want to go and check it out for my self-preservation and Mayu’s sake.”

“Ah? For me?”

“Yeah. Maa-chan is in a bit of danger right now.”

Probably, maybe, most certainly. Though there was no concrete evidence.

Mayu’s eyes made a round trip right and left.

After about the time it takes for someone to sit in Zen meditation with spit on their head and think, “Ching,” the eyes stopped right in front(5).

“No.”

Eh. As clear-cut as a person refusing to say goodbye at a bar(6).

Perhaps noticing my objection, Mayu frowned and turned away.

“By checking it out, you just mean looking at the body, right? No-no-no.”

She turned around at the second “no.” I couldn’t exactly say that she wasn’t right. It was necessary to examine the body.

It’s unavoidable in a situation like this. 

“Then, won’t you come with me, Maa-chan?”

 As if facing betrayal, her turn-around stopped. Mayu entered my line of sight with a question written on her face.

“It’s okay if you come to see so I don’t cheat.”

To be honest, this was not exactly what I wanted.

If she still rejected this, I’d obediently give up and go straight to the convenience store.

“Hmm…”

Mayu hesitated. Biting her thumb, her eyes wandered around the world. 

She was probably conflicted, thinking “It’s so troublesome” and “It’s cold.”

“Ah!” and suddenly Mayu’s legs were tucked under her, and her upper body was rearranged into a sitting position.

Then, I saw Mayu’s eyes staring at me.

Mayu, who even normally had unique irises, emitted an abundant radiance from her eyes.

A phenomenon that occurs when people reminisce about the past. It’s too simplistic to call it the “memory drop” phenomenon, so I won’t give it a name.

“We’re playing explorers!”

“Yes, that’s it.”

“I missed that~ Since we entered elementary school, we always used to explore inside the school, going round and round.”

“Yes, that.” (defiantly)

Sometimes, the two of us rode the unicycle together (forgery in the process).

“I think the school was very spacious. The second and third floors, which were used by the upperclassmen, were completely different places, and I felt nervous and a little scared there. The tiny air vents under the walls were sometimes unlocked, and we would go in and play in the science lab and stuff.”

Mayu sniffled and broke off the sentence. She looked up at me. As if she was anxiously waiting for me to respond.

“Yeah, that.”

“Do you remember? My favorite place.”

“Yeah. Next to the library, the spare room.”

Never been there.

I seemed to be correct, judging by her smile.

“I knew you’d remember.”

“You used to love spinning the globe.”

I’ve never seen it. 

Once upon a time, when Mayu and I lived a life together in a cold house, I had only heard about it.

“Yeah, yeah,” Mayu vigorously agrees.

“It was fun…”

Mayu mumbled that one sentence as if far, far away, she was smiling while crying in a tearful voice.

As if after a funeral.

It was just a moment, and then Mayu was back to behaving like a little girl.

“Then I’ll go with Mii-kun, and return to our minds as children.”

“Ah, thank you.”

An attitude going from white to black. 

Mayu jumped off the bed and landed on her feet, half-tumbling. 

She pulled her over-the-shoulder bag full of clothes off the shelf and tossed the contents onto the bed. Clothes, pajama changes, and even various pairs of underwear were all scattered about without reservations. Mayu then waddled around the room, half-running, preparing for her own game of exploration.

“Bread, knife, lamp…”

Waitwaitwait, the second one.

“Confiscated.”

The fruit knife, its blade wrapped tightly in a toweling cloth, was taken from Mayu before she threw it into her bag.

“No! That’s how I’m going to protect Mii-kun!”

Mayu jumped right at my right hand. Even though I was holding a knife!

While joking, I conceded. If Nawa Mitsuaki’s cause of death was stabbing, this would transcend the estimated time of death and make her the leading candidate for the murderer. No, more importantly, if Mayu ever met the killer, she would be the one blamed for the murder. Either way, it was extremely disturbing.

“Only things left are the will and two eyeballs, perfect!” 

Mayu was carrying an air of eagerness as if she were about to go searching for a castle in the sky. She slung the strap of her bag over her left shoulder and returned to me.

“Mii-kun is empty-handed? What about taking leftover bread from lunch?”

“All I have is my wallet, gloves, and that on the desk, I guess.”

The five big notebooks Nagase had brought with her from the hospital room were now left on the table. 

“What’s that?”

“My notes. I just need to make some copies.”

Mayu pulled out one of the notebooks and checked inside. When I was preparing myself for any complaints about the girl’s handwriting, she scolded me, saying, “You should study your handwriting more.” Nice, Nagase, your lack of skill in writing cryptic Japanese has paid off. Though if I were to inform the person in question, she would probably use a pillow or something to argue.

I put the notebook in Mayu’s bag, and at her suggestion, I prepared my shoes as well, and with that everything was ready. The time was 7:30 pm. It was still early – I intended to spring into action a while after lights out.

I stopped Mayu, who was about to bravely run out and sat her down next to me. While waiting, I worried about Mayu, since she seemed about to fall asleep without even a moment to yawn, and decided to find out about the location in advance.

“Where are we going to explore?”

“Ah, in that building around the corner.”

“Hmm… Near the former hospital ward?”

“Yes, yes.”

Nowadays, the building has become filled with trash, like Yumenoshima(7).

A committee of old ladies have gossiped that there were plans for it to be torn down next year, have some trees planted, and turn it into a promenade. 

“Seems fun…” I murmured to myself, as I playfully moved my feet through the air.

Mayu leaned on my shoulder and automatically took my hand. It was just a bit smaller than Nagase’s hand.

“Hey.”

“Hmm?”

Mayu’s gestures, expression, and voice were impressive as if she was dozing off.

“Mii-kun doesn’t laugh and doesn’t cry.”

“…Yeah.”

Maybe that’s because my soul is empty, huh?

Forty minutes had passed since the lights went out at 9:00 p.m. Mayu and I, having stayed up unusually late, left the room and started walking down the corridor faintly illuminated only by the emergency lights.

“Boom, boom.”

Like in horror, the sound of our hard footsteps echoed in the darkness, accompanied by Mayu’s flat SE(8). In reality, it was only the flapping of slippers and the clattering of crutches.

Mayu has changed from her nightgown to her normal clothes and looked fit for a field trip with her white bag slung askew over her shoulder.

Even though she was outside today, her attitude remained soft, as if she was either in a good mood or hindered by sleep. 

“You’re still awake, huh?”

I was half-praising and half-vexing her on the way. I was waiting for her to tease back. Mayu looked at me with scorn in her eyes and was very much not happy. 

“You’re treating me like a child.”

“No, no, you’re amazing, amazing.”

“Uuuu, mumumu…” She muttered something, yawning.

We went down to the first floor and walked towards the far side of the room where the light was leaking in. I decided to use the back door since, though it’s embarrassing to admit, I couldn’t think of a clever plan to return the front door lock to its original state after breaking it. 

I advanced at a slow pace through a world with numerous emergency lights, colored a chemical shade of green like a pay phone booth(9). When I turned to the direction opposite the lobby, I found some sporadically placed long copper-red benches.

We arrived in front of the emergency exit deep inside the hospital. In the corner of the dead-end corridor, was a fire extinguisher that looked like it had long since passed the expiration date. Then, a mop, with its silk-floss tip bleached before, now like a soured grape, stood watch leaning against the wall.

“It’s thrilling, isn’t it, opening a door. What’s there, what will we see?”

Mayu put her slippers in her bag and took out a pair of shoes without a single stain instead. There is broken glass and such on the floor of the abandoned ward, so wearing sandals is dangerous, she explained. I responded, “Yes, that’s right,” in a gentle tone of voice, as she helped me change into another pair of shoes. Then, as an act of annoyance with the exposed metal, I grabbed the cold handle and twisted it, and although it wasn’t an emergency, the emergency door opened.

I stepped through the door. The place where I took my first step was a shadowy location just below the fire escape stairs that had become a kingdom of red rust. Taking care not to hit my head, I moved to the ground where the grass and trees had completely withered away.

“It’s cold,” Mayu leaked out in displeasure, hugging my bandaged left arm without restraint.

“Stop, I can’t move.”

I tried to pull away, but Mayu clung to me in defiance.

“I have to stay like this until you move.”

“Mhm.”

The wind made the vegetation sway, depriving us of its presence, and appealing to our sense of touch and hearing. Even with a cheap jacket over my pajamas, it was doubtful that the winter wind would recognize it as resistance to its passage. Trying not to be tempted by the urge to turn back and cuddle with Mayu for warmth, I tilted my head, guided by the cries of the non-living swirling far overhead. 

The clear night sky, with clouds flowing by, was a pleasing sight to behold. Looking up at that picture-perfect scene, its torso split in half by a strong wind, but still in constant motion, was a welcome distraction from the cold. All that remained was to move my body with a resolution before my will to act faded away. To reach the two goals: go inspect the dead body and print a copy of that notebook of dubious value. 

With a “Teke-te-ten” and a hand poised to become circular(10), Mayu curled her fingers, and the lamp, namely an electric torch she had prepared, was taken out of her bag, the one that was always available in private rooms. When I turned it on, a part of the front part of the room switched to daylight. Watching this sequence of actions, I just noticed that I wouldn’t be able to hold the light by myself. Surprisingly, it was good for Mayu to accompany me.

From here, we would move clockwise to the northwest from the east side where we were currently standing. There was the main entrance and exit on the north side, and there was a parking lot on the way there, so we had to be careful. Mayu held the light and, seemingly reluctant to part, moved about a distance of approximately just a skin layer away from me.

We have defeated the rain, and now we must step on the soil to resist the wind

 

. The natural earth was slightly less comfortable to step on than the scientific corridor. The crutches didn’t feel quite right either.

When we approached the south side, the hospital sheltered us from the wind(11). Away from the shadows of the buildings, flower beds were set up along the walls. I turned a modest spotlight on the flower beds, and some of the flowers were bathed in the artificial light. But after comparing them to my poor-quality knowledge, the only ones I could make out were the daffodils. As a measure against damage from insects, the daffodil flowers were planted along the edge of the flower bed, making them bow to us.

“Hey, hey, what would Mii-kun do if I fell asleep right now?”

I would leave her lying on the bed of flowers. Though that’s a lie.

Mayu’s face was featureless, even when carrying the traces of light. 

“I’d carry you on my back. Though I’d have to undo the bandages on my legs.”

Perhaps reassured by those words, Mayu’s cheeks softened, and she was now in a good mood. But really, please don’t fall asleep.

The straight line of the south side was now half completed. The lack of exposure to the wind was a kind of comfort and reminded me of the role of houses that we usually live in without thinking much about it. My parents’ house and my uncle’s house were wooden structures, weak against fire and earthquakes, but not wind and rain. I could now understand the value of such a house.

It was only while being on the south side that I could have enlightening thoughts like those. Hardship was brewing just in front of us.

When we went north on the west side, we were faced with a headwind. If this was a comedy manga, I’d be blown in the opposite direction with a scream, with even the whales flying in the sky.

“I’ll be your windshield.”

I let Mayu hide behind me. That would probably help a little. The rest was up to me.

The only way to deal with things like these is to drive yourself crazy. Imitate a madman. It could be debated if it was pretending for me or not, but in any case, intentionally let yourself break. All you needed to do was to not let the senses connect. When one recognizes the moment they break down and disassembles the phenomena, which would be presented by all senses through the comprehensive sixth sense, and when one overflows with the colors of sound and letters through the double intersection of lost synesthesia, it would become absolutely clear that appropriate dignity was obtained, suitable for summarizing into a new world, a new territory, nirvana, and the overall cycle of transmigration in the next life, beyond obvious, and following that exceedingly clear logic, one passes through the hot springs open to the general public on the side of the west ward. Passing through, one arrives at an old hospital ward in a corner where somewhat unclear construction seems to be a daily routine. Then, fixing the crazy part (is that even possible?)(12).

The old ward was a cozy building, nothing like the current hospital. It was a two-story building with a veranda in front that gave it a strange, eerie feel. Just when it seemed like someone might be peering at us from the window side, with a B-grade horror scent, the eerie feeling instantly vanished when I thought of it, and an old zombie movie I once saw started playing in the corner of my mind. 

Scattered around the building were garbage bags filled to the brim. It was like Santa’s discarded baggage. Outside was garbage that would eventually be collected, and inside was illegal waste, with no intention of ever being collected. But let’s keep the dark humor to a minimum.

At the entrance, a warning sign functioned as a notice stating Authorized Personnel Only, and there was no trace of any creative liberties. I decided that, since we were admitted to the hospital, or rather because we were locals, we were basically authorized, and so I went without hesitation. To be honest, I didn’t even think about it. 

The front door was locked, but after shaking it twice, it yielded with ease. What a coward.

“Last time I waited here in the back, someone went out and I entered like that.”

“Mhm, clever.”

This time, she smiled. She returned to her previous position on my left.

The impolite idiot couple intruded with shoes on without a hint of remorse. In the shoe box by the entranceway, there was a pair of dark brown slippers from those days, as if the hospital was insisting that they were still in use. We waltzed in without changing shoes, of course. 

Weirdly, there were no automatic doors. When I opened the nearly rotted-through door and visited the reception desk, a dry smell and a dance of a cloud of dust teased us as a welcome. A sea of dust that made me hesitate to breathe. Or, excuse me, a river. It would probably be a shame for someone from a land that is not properly connected to the local sea to use a sea as an analogy, I thought. By tomorrow, I’ll have forgotten about it. 

Mayu’s electric torch shined the light on the bare bench, the pay phone by the reception desk with its cobalt green plating almost peeling, and the rabbit doll with one of its ears removed. The half-open door leading to a treatment room behind the receptionist’s desk was another unexpected highlight. On the other hand, the tinnitus-inducing silence left no room for any orderly sound.

Only the wall clock above the row of benches in the waiting area was working, ticking away the seconds in the same place where seconds of illness once ticked away, too. The time indicated by the clock was slightly different from the actual one in the present, and although it was ticking in the past, there was no confusion or hesitation in its operation. Maybe this place failed to sell itself as a haunted house, I suspected.

I looked sideways at Mayu, who was idly playing with the electric torch in the hospital, swaying it in all directions without even a hint of fear. It’s not like she was interested in the atmosphere of a place left behind in time. For Mayu, it was a game of exploration, recalling a past too bright to distinguish it from anything else, the act itself meaningless. Well, if it was good for her in the end, that’s all that matters. 

The floor did not creak, but it was cracked, threatening to shatter at any moment. Using crutches with that was somewhat unsettling. There was a path leading from the right side of the reception desk to the insides of the building, and when facing it, an old machine was there, left unattended. It appeared to be a blood pressure meter, but the cobwebs were so stretched over it that I had no desire to touch it.

“Feels like a cross between a science lab and an infirmary, huh?”

Mayu’s cheerful comment impressed me. Hospitals are all like that, aren’t they?

“Where is the dead body?”

“On the second floor, in a place where it smells like medicine.”

Huh. Not a bad place for the smell of decay to be covered up.

“Maa-chan, where did the person carrying the body come from?”

“Hmm, I saw a strange person from the window, so I followed them. Then, when I was near here I saw, oh, a dead body!”

“Hmm… Did that strange person have anything else with them?”

“No, only the dead body on their back.”

“…That’s a lot of guts to have.”

“You too, carry Maa-chan on your back.”

She turned it around. 

Why does this girl always behave so recklessly? It’d be dangerous for one person to walk up the stairs. It was like a trick – there probably was no good answer to this.

Committing a crime as an expression of desire is probably driven by the same lack of rationality and an attraction toward malice. A little further in the back, a hallway dropped off further to the right. According to Mayu, the staircase was located about two hospital rooms away. Every time I walked, dust from the floor would fly around my ankles and soak my feet.

We went down the corridor and came to an outer corridor facing the new ward.

The sharp moonlight painted the floor delicately, topping its deterioration with mystery.

The king of the night did not appear, but the sound of leafhoppers could be heard in the distance as we made our way along the corridor. From time to time a breeze would come in from outside, and when I looked at the window, I saw that half of the glass there was broken. exploring the corroded and abandoned hospital with a light in one hand, we felt as if we were in an abandoned village in Saitama(13). Let’s hope that the corpses would not come back to life.

In a hospital room that we passed on the way down the corridor, there were six bunk beds without blankets. There was no sign that anyone had used them recently. Anyway, I thought it would be good to let Nawa Mitsuaki rest here, without considering the feelings or circumstances of the perpetrator. Then I changed my mind. If I were to do that, before you know it, there might be unfamiliar corpses on other beds as well… and I wouldn’t want to turn this into some fifth-rate horror story, so I reconsidered.

To avoid stepping on the broken glass on the floor with my crutches and to prevent Mayu, with her unsteady footsteps, from falling onto it, I had her walk on the side of the hospital room and proceed through the decaying wooden corridor with great care. 

Mayu was gazing ahead, focusing on the area where the rays of light were hitting.

Perhaps noticing my gaze, she slowly twisted her head to the right.

With my eyes now used to the darkness, Mayu’s cheerful smiling face became easier to see. A very good thing.

“Hey, when will Mii-kun leave the hospital?”

 Seems like she was thinking about something very much unrelated to the situation at hand. 

“Probably around the time I switch to using a single crutch, I think.”

Actually, I had no idea when that would be. 

“Maa-chan will be discharged in a week.”

“Then, I’ll go back to Maa-chan’s house the same day.”

That was the model answer. Mayu, squinting with satisfaction, agreed with “Yeah, let’s do that,” and her steps became lighter. To keep up with her, I, too, changed the way I was moving. That increased the pace of my steps. 

“Will it leave a scar?”

Mayu rubbed the wound on her head over the bandage I had rewrapped. I wonder, between the wound in myself and the other party, which one would leave more of a scar. Now that I thought about it, I too had a scar on my head. Even for the two of us, it was a high bar to speak about this as a matching pair and smile about it.

“Even if it does, Maa-chan is still Maa-chan.”

I affirmed her existence without even knowing what it really meant. In any case, Mayu certainly didn’t, but since she looked happy, it was worth it. 

After passing the second vacant hospital room, I found a staircase just as Mayu had described. Even though it was an old-style building there was still a railing, as one would expect of a hospital. But since it was so old, the stairs themselves were a problem. Just by placing a leg on it, it felt like the board would break, and the lack of any antique charm added to the source of unease.

Mayu slipped past me as I was stepping with my two feet and grabbed the railing, beginning to climb the stairs. When I collected myself, the culprit must have been in good health to be able to climb around with a whole person, which was probably more important to know than the outward appearance. Holding two crutches with one hand, I grabbed the handrail to slowly follow Mayu’s back.

Mayu was the first to make the climb and used the light to help me clear my footing. On the seventh step laid the carcass of a dead butterfly, its wings nearly weathered. There were traces that someone had stepped on it in the last few days. There were few spots to place one’s feet, so I couldn’t be picky either. I stepped on it and headed for the summit.

I made it to the top without tumbling down. My palms bore the pain and exhaustion, but it was not a timeout yet. More importantly, from the room to my left came the smell of vinegar poured on kitchen waste. 

“That’s the room,” Mayu pointed, pinching her nose. Suddenly I felt like turning back.

I followed Mayu into the room. It didn’t look like a hospital room, nor an infirmary for that matter. Maybe there was an earthquake, with the medical books flying down the shelves, and beaker fragments blanketing the floor. As for the size, it was about as big as a school science lab. 

A wooden oak table in the center of the room was packed full of empty medicine bags scattered around. Maybe this room was once used as a pharmacy. But the drama of this hospital was worth less than a deciliter to me. The only thing that mattered was the meaning of that place.

Mayu pushed her way forward in a straight line to the back of the room and stopped in front of a door in the corner of the room. She jumped up and down and beckoned me in. She had put some pastries in her bag, so she was probably in the mood for a small picnic. With a smile, I decided to interpret it that way. 

Following the tradition, I gently ran up to Mayu with a “Hey, wait up, buddy” kind of nuance. Though that’s a lie. 

A wooden door led to a reference room in the back. Inside were medical journals and pharmacy books breaking out of the glass of the cabinets and crashing onto the floor. Mixed with the smell of medicine was a drifting scent like that of paper mache.

Mayu pointed to a pile of crumpled cardboard boxes and led me to them. Next to the crumpled cardboard boxes, there was a box that made its living as a medium-sized rectangle. Crossing in front of the lockers at the entrance, I bathed the box in light and confirmed what it was. A medium-sized freezer with the power turned off.

“Here?”

“Yeah.”

Inside the freezer, someone stored meat.

What kind of sick joke was this?

“Teke-te-ten.(14)”

No, there’s no need for such a sound effect filled with expectations and dreams. A metal pipe sound, maybe. 

“…”

Bathed in a cheap spotlight, a young woman believed to be Nawa Mitsuaki was sitting, grabbing her knees. Her neck was slanted at a 130-degree angle to the right, and reddish-purple dead spots were floating on her forehead and possibly on her back as well. Her skin was still in the early stages of decay. If it was a banana, it would be about ready to eat, but unfortunately, the corpse would not ripen.  

The right leg peeking out from the hem of the pajamas was encircled round and round by a bandage. I refrained from remarking on how we shared a bond because of the similar place of injury since it would for sure make Maa-chan jealous. 

Borrowing Mayu’s shoulder, I cautiously bend down. With my eyes on the corpse, I set out to investigate.

“Can you pass me the gloves?”

Following my instructions, I inherited the gloves pulled out from the bag from Mayu and nullified a chance of leaving fingerprints from either of my hands. I pulled out the corpse, stiffened from not being in the freezer, and exposed it to the limited light of day. 

It had been a long time since I had last seen a corpse.

The first one I saw was my mother’s corpse… Come to think of it, wasn’t the anniversary of her death tomorrow? I’d have to go visit her grave.

“You can’t touch her chest.”

“Sure.”

“And thighs.”

“Sure, sure.”

“And armpits.”

“Oh, come on.”

“Actually, don’t touch it at all.”

“Yes, sure.”

Since the conversation was going nowhere, I tried to leave it on an unclear note.

First, out of curiosity, I raised the eyelids. The eyeballs were cloudy, the pupils completely dead. This proved that several days had passed since she was hired as a corpse. I pull the eyelids back, correcting the face from strange to that of a sleeping corpse.

“It’s like playing doctor,” Mayu, the lighting technician, commented without looking at the corpse. I thought it would be more appropriate to play detective, but what I said was, “That’s nostalgic.”

“You used to play the patient a lot, didn’t you, Mii-kun.”

As expected, that’s how it was. Though Sugawara’s preferences were completely different from mine.

The next thing that caught my attention, or rather stood out, was the huge bruise on his temple. It looked like a dark, vivid scar as if the sweet filling of a steamed bun was showing through the skin. At the center of the cheek and chin dried blood stuck to the surface. Even if this was not the cause of death, it would be hard not to consider that it was a painful blow by the killer’s hand. 

Was Mayu the second case of a woman being beaten on the hospital grounds?

Was there, as a second installment following the demon of dismemberment in this town, also an assault demon emerging? Moreover, it would come with the fresh limitation of being only interested in women and girls… Well, I guess not.

“Light on the body, please, I need to check it.”

When I instructed my assistant, she openly expressed her displeasure.

“Don’t touch it as you please. Promise me.”

It wasn’t like I could just abandon it all halfway and leave.

“I want permission to touch her. For mine and Maa-chan’s sake.”

“Uuu…”

While Mayu agonized, I decided to examine both the corpse’s hands.

Her clenched fists were strong enough to grab onto the victim’s regret or grudges, but not enough to give us the clue as to the murderer’s identity. They were empty, to start. A cursory look around the back and flat of the hand reveals no scratches or welts on the skin. So no traces of resistance on the hands. There was only an uncrushed blister.

…Crutches, eh?

The fact that there was no anguish on the face of the deceased made it highly probable that she passed away while unconscious. Did she even have a chance to regret what happened?

“…”

I’m an unscrupulous person, not paying respect to the dead and judging things in that twisted way.

I only offered a silent prayer. I wouldn’t be looking at a girl’s naked body without her permission, after all.

I opened my eyes and felt the eyes of someone other than the corpse on me, so I responded.

Mayu slowly jolted her head in a nod, like she was dozing off.

“Yes, okay,” she begrudgingly agreed to my request.

“Thank you. You’re so kind, Maa-chan.”

“I’m open-minded.”

Well, for me, “Maa-chan” and “kind” were set together like an idiom.

“It’s only that…”

Here it comes.

“It’s only what?”

“Just one thing.”

“What is it?”

“Say that you XX.”

The second I heard that, I lost all composure.

A headache developed, so much so that I even got dizzy. If I could, I would have fallen on the corpse right there and then torn off my flesh.

I pushed the numb hand on the floor, trying to keep the panic under control.

“Just this time, you can do it, I’ll close my eyes for you.”

“…Really?”

“Of course,” Mayu puffed up her chest. “But, Mii-kun, you won’t tell me anything at all.”

“That’s, uh, well…”

“Won’t you XX me?”

Please rephrase that.

If you overdo it, it’ll be the end of me.

I mean, I told you, on the roof of the department store.

Then, hanging onto my chest, “You won’t say that? Even though you are Mii-kun.”

She looked up at me with teary eyes, not a favorable reaction.

Mayu clung to my chest, covering my heart as if the prelude to crushing it. 

“You promised.”

It was the second reminder, a harbinger of simple danger prefacing the real threat. 

Her dilated pupils swallowed me up effortlessly.

What could her right hand exploring the bag mean?

…Shit. I couldn’t escape, either forward or backward.

I was told to smile, what bullshit to spew.

Why were Maa-chan’s requests so difficult to understand?

With no budding resolve, I took action.

I swallowed down my saliva and put my hand on Mayu’s shoulder.

Pressing down lightly on my ear, I remembered the one that gave me my name, my mother,

and imposed hard labor onto the tongue. 

“I XX you.”

The inside of the ear, sheared with a gritting sound.

“Ma-chan is X, has good X, and is the embodiment of the words ‘to have X.’ Very X and truly X. That smile that makes me feel X is irresistible. I finally somehow understand the true meaning of X now. X gives without hesitation, and X takes without hesitation, that’s exactly right.(15)”　

Gritting, gritting, gritting, gritting, gritting, gritting, gritting.

I did my best to keep telling that to Mayu.

“Me too, I XX Mii-kun more than anyone else.”

Mayu’s delighted smiling face was overlapped by the ringing sound in my ears.

At the limit. 

I took my hand from my ear to my mouth and dammed up the vomit that was flowing back into my mouth.

Then, I let it regurgitate back into my stomach.

In one gulp, a fierce mixture of urophagia therapy and green juice health method gurgled back into my stomach.

“What’s wrong, Mii-kun?”

I coughed violently, the dregs of gastric juices hurling to the floor. The leftover smell sticking to my larynx made me wince.

“I was just overcome with my feelings for Maa-chan.”

To be honest, it was more like I was overcome with my stomach(16).

I corrected the strain in my spine, took a few deep breaths, and shook my head from side to side.

Okay, let’s continue.

I popped open the buttons of the pajamas, neither fried nor damaged. With an “Excuse me,” I undressed the body and let it bathe in the winter night. There was a complaint from Mayu, but since the person in question stayed silent, I took the small blessing as it were. Mayu really did shut her eyes. Was she being sincere, or was she misunderstanding the situation?

　There was nothing remarkable on the surface of her upper body. No, that had nothing to do with the physical development of the girl, but any pig-headed comment about the chest circumference would be inviting back the anger of the person next to me and putting my life on the line. Her half-closed eyes would fly open.

After a brief observation, I made an optimistic assumption that her supervision would be less strict when checking the back. 

“Huh,” I breathed a sigh of relief.

Perhaps showing the killer’s inclinations, the back had a bruise, not as large as the one at her temple, but still clearly visible. The lower neck, lower back, and calves were also bruised. No other wounds are to be found.

Once again, I turned the body over. Thoroughly and quickly checked the upper half again. Touched the face and cheeks to make sure.

…No, there’s none.

“Hmm.”

…Hmm.

“Okay, done.”

When I declared that, Mayu’s eyelids opened back to their normal state. Then, she rubbed her eyes.

I put the clothes back on and put Nawa Mitsuaki on her bed, which she probably didn’t like both when alive and dead.

Taking the angle into account, I pushed it and closed the fridge. Hope she can rest in a proper grave, I prayed for her.

“…Now then, let’s go to that convenience store.”

I stood up awkwardly, my crutches creaking on the floor. With a hand on her chin, Mayu murmured “Hm” with an unconvinced look on her face.

“We didn’t explore that much.” 

“That’ll be a chance for another time,” I soothed Mayu, knowing that there won’t be another time.

I took off my gloves and put them back in the bag.

Before I left the reference room, Mayu stopped me at the window with a “Hey, hey.”

Mayu showed me the tricolor sweet bread(17) wrapped in a plastic bag she brought with a smile.

“Let’s eat the bread. Though it’s not a loaf.”

Hmm, it seems that in the old days, we used the leftovers from school lunches as snacks.

I glanced back at the fridge. If her digestive systems were still functional we could have split the bread three ways and bond, but it would probably end up with Mayu getting very angry at her. 

“Sure. What part do you like best, Maa-chan?”

A combination of chocolate, cream, and green tea – clearly one of them was not like the others. Damn you, you westerners.

“Mmm, Mii-kun, you want green tea, right?”

Oh, I was going to be the bullied kid. I was incompatible with Sugawara from the marrow of my bones, it seems.

“Then, I will eat what is left.”

Mayu smiled at the distribution of the bread, seemingly feeling that it matched as it was in the past. Mayu’s fingers, touched when receiving the colored bread, had a different kind of softness than the corpse. As expected of the beautiful Maa-chan. 

We propped ourselves side by side on a wall near the window. I let go of my crutches and stuffed my cheeks with bread in the same room with Nawa Mitsuaki as if to show the corpse the privileges of the living. It tasted like skin, grime, flies, and maggots mixed, like Nawa Mitsuaki… Well, that’s a lie, though the bread’s texture and its squish were not much different than the skin of a corpse.

As I chewed and chewed, a subtle taste took possession of my mouth. Green tea was not my favorite in the first place, and with my self-made seasoning, and the remnants of gastric juice, all of it interfered with my appetite. It strengthened the sense of folly of eating in a room shared with a corpse, a thing going against the modern, peaceful Japanese spirit of things.   

I looked with envy at Mayu, fluffily munching on my favorite food. But her movements were nothing short of lovely, and since I could appreciate that, there was no problem, I decided. Beauty is an advantage.

I put a bunch of green tea bread in my mouth and looked up at the ceiling. Spider webs, rat droppings, and insect eggs were all colored by the darkness, fading out of view. In the case of invisible things, it is necessary to recognize their existence.

“…”

I wonder what kind of a creature Mayu saw me as. 

“Hey, Mii-kun.”

“You want me to eat the rest of it?”

“Someone is coming here.”

I choked and swallowed. Bread crumbs danced in my larynx, obstructing breathing.

“Hmm, ah, sorry. I forgot to bring something to drink. I’m so careless.”

“Never mind that, who’s coming? From where?”

When I asked, Mayu pointed to the window. I looked out and, sure enough, an elongated shadow of a human figure shaked, heading towards the front door of the hospital ward. I pulled Mayu back from the window, snuffed the light out, and hurriedly seized my crutches.

“An accident?”

Mayu, unmoved, tilted her head and started rummaging through her bag. Oh no, at this rate, if I don’t do something, it’d be knives out.

I gaudily turned my head and quickly looked for a place to hide. With no real estate agent in sight, I had no choice but to rely on my strength. I squinted and continued probing at the darkness. Fueled by impatience, I found a perfectly suitable locker by the door near the room. I decided it was the only choice, then sprang into action before the sound of someone entering the building reached my ears.

“Come here, Maa-chan.”

I reached the locker hopping on my crutches and one good leg. Truth be told, I was not really supposed to move like that, but in an emergency, there was no reason to follow the doctor’s advice. First, I closed the big door connecting the reference room to the main one. 

Mayu, tense as if during a safety drill, walked over. My blood’s circulation sped up courtesy of the uneasiness, leaving no room for me to worry. I opened the locker and slid myself inside, relieved to find no cleaning supplies. With the crutches caught on the edge, I took Mayu’s hand and pulled her in, holding her tight.

“It’s somehow exciting, isn’t it?” Mayu laughed without suppressing her excitement. 

I was getting a headache trying to decide whether to bemoan my pettiness or admire this girl’s confidence.

Don’t make a sound or move.

I whispered, and Mayu writhed as if my breath caught on her and tickled. Against my boundless anxiety, I only held her tight.

Hiding our breaths and bodies in a locker reeking of dirty rags, I contemplated the situation.

Who in the world would visit this haunted house at night?

Of course, it would have to be the person who hid the body in the first place. In other words, the murderer.

But why?

The murderer must know that if there was a witness, it would be fatal for them. 

It was stupid for them to come back here.

So, the murderer must, like me, have a reason to take that risk.

Were they going to move the hiding place of the body? 

Or maybe, did they come to confirm something?

Even with my brain spinning at a dizzying pace, I couldn’t come up with a convincing motive for the murderer to come here.

The minds of criminals are truly difficult to understand. Especially kidnappers, who are, to put it mildly, beyond comprehension or, well, a taboo. But yeah, that’s us.

Which brought me to my next concern.

Did the criminal know of us?

That was important. If that was the case, then we have willingly entered a place from which there was no escape. But even without additional optimism, we could conclude that this was unlikely.

From the killer’s point of view, if anyone knew of Nawa Mitsuaki’s body, they would have to take action to keep the witnesses’ mouths shut. There was no need to make such grand gestures. They would carefully pay attention and follow us, then take care of us. If I was the killer, I would be more concerned about not giving out my presence more than anything.

Therefore, I assumed the killer was headed to the ward to take care of whatever other business he had left here, and not for any other reason. 

If the time of day was the same as the time of the crime, wouldn’t it be logical to assume a similar purpose?

From the stairs, a faint sound of footsteps. I swallowed down my spit while I had the chance, since soon I would be unable to.

I pinned the cane down with my elbow to stop it from tilting towards the locker door. In the locker consumed by blackness, beyond the influence of the moonlight, Mayu’s microscopic smile vibrated through my upper body. What’s so funny?

I felt some relief at seeing her trust.

Step after step, the sound of footsteps coming higher increased.

Suddenly, the same feeling as when my father descended the basement stairs came back with goosebumps.

Strangled by the tension from the past, my airways closed and I gasped.

Now, the final question.

What would we do if the killer found us?

Naturally, the killer would try to keep us quiet. And of course, we would resist.

Avoiding bloodshed would be impossible with Mayu Misono.

All we could do now was wish for everything to turn out well.

We would not pray to God. 

Because in the past, nothing Mayu prayed for came true.

Footsteps landed at a vague distance, both far and near. Seems like they entered the room near us.

A person with keen hearing can distinguish between men and women by the sound of their footsteps on the floor. But such a feat was impossible for me. 

The sound of the doorknob twisting made a part of my mind slow down. Facing the big door, the criminal stepped on the floor, on a pile of papers and glass, and then strode out into the room where we hid. There was no hesitation in their steps.

The assuring sound of footsteps dominated everything, even fear. Mayu did not move an inch.

The killer was not in a hurry, their pace undisturbed. The sound of them passing in front of the locker made my stomach tie up in knots.

The killer’s goal was, as it turned out, to open the fridge’s door, judging by the sound. In a tense moment, I hoped I cleaned after myself properly after examining the upper body

As if they had no heart rate at all, the criminal maintained silence.

I decided to distract myself so that my mind would not be overwhelmed. More specifically, I just counted seconds in my head – plain, meaningless boredom.

At 214, there was movement.

A thud, then the sound of something falling to the floor. Following that, the floor cried out in complaint under the pressure of weight. The new spins of sounds, whirling question marks onto my eardrums. 

Straining my ears, I could make out the criminal whispering something. Were there two of them? I suspected that, but from the sounds of footsteps until now, it would be impossible unless one of them floated three centimeters over the ground. So the murderer was relaying his intentions to Nawa Mitsuaki… Relaying, huh? No matter how I approached it, thinking about it would only bring horror, so I pretended it never happened.

Prayer, complaint, a wedding speech. What could the killer be offering to the corpse?

The murderer’s mutterings finally came to an end when I counted the seconds down to about the 2,007 mark.

The sound of footsteps moving away. I could feel them half-running back at twice the previous speed down the stairs. 

I had made it to the count of 3,002 and steeled myself to step outside when I noticed that Mayu was peacefully asleep in my arms. I admired her guts, and then I remembered how bad the darkness and the dreams ate at her, and I shook her shoulder. Mayu, strangely enough, woke up without complaints.

The air outside was even more refreshingly foul as Mayu rubbed her eyes.

I looked at the refrigerator, but I could see no change from when I opened and closed it.

Tentatively, I hooked my crutch on the handle and opened it, but Nawa Mitsuaki was still there, a corpse in its peak performance.

What was all that about, then?

I hoped there was no one around to answer my question.

Mayu puffed out her cheeks with air and giggled to herself.

When she was done laughing, she let go of the air with a pop.

“Mii-kun, your heart was racing. It lulled me to sleep.”

“Ah, I see…”

I lost all my strength, my ass falling to the floor. 

Using a book and a piece of glass as a cushion, I look up at the dark sky outside the window.

The clouds were smoothly swimming in the sky, the moon out of sight.

Mayu also chose a thick dictionary, put it under her buttocks, and sat down by my side.

“It’s not a full moon, huh. What do you call it?”

Imachizuki(18), was it? I was pretty sure it was not a half-moon.

“What’s with you? Are you…”

Suddenly, I looked at Mayu’s face. She had a soft expression that was different from a smile.

“This is your first time watching the moon, right?”

“…Mhm.”

Somehow, those words felt hard in my mouth.

But there was no discomfort there. 

Both Mayu and I let the fact that there was a dead body here drop out of the corners of our consciousness, and we looked at the moon in silence.

The moon whose name we did not know.

And still, its light reached us.

The lack of elegance was simply appropriate.

 

Most patients here knew that you could exit the hospital through the parking lot at night. Many nurses knew that, and of course, doctors did, too, but they all chose to overlook it. That was because this was the unspoken way of dealing with complaints about the lack of food in the hospital.

Thanks to that, the nearby convenience store thrived with all those hospitalized people in pajamas as their consumers. For a countryside store, it was rare to have a necessity for a parking lot. The shop owner considered that and cut down on the parking space by expanding the store.

The side street of the parking lot led to the street. The asphalt surface made the crutches more pleasant to handle. Though when it was wet, like after a rainstorm, any road would be a nightmare. About two weeks ago, I recklessly went out on such a day and fell six times. A middle-aged man who shared the room with me helped me up, a thing which by now was a bittersweet memory.

“Let’s go, let’s go…(19)”

Mayu, full of innocence, walked with her feet kicking up high. With that, she ended up kicking something. When we checked the landing spot, we found that it was a distorted husk of a corpse of a kitten. It was unclear whether that fatally wounded it or not.

“Alright, alright, let’s have our fun walk on the footpath.”

I led Mayu to the side of the road since she looked set on trying to walk right in the middle. It felt like going to a primary school with a group of kids.

“Uh, Mii-kun, you don’t understand a woman’s heart at all,” she said, her mouth curved into a pout.

I didn’t think Maa-chan herself understood what the “woman’s heart” was at all.

The road leading to the convenience store off the hospital was flanked by rice fields on the right and a construction site on the other side. It seemed like some apartments were being built, the completion date four years into the future from now. I said before not to underestimate this location. Power to the countryside.

As I was getting upset, I heard the faint sound of a motorcycle exhausting itself in the distance. Maybe it reached the age at which it wanted to become one with the wind. 

Speaking of the wind itself, it had lessened in its intensity and had become a light breeze. Even so, it did not diminish my desire to warm up, the tinge of the goosebumps was uncontrollable.

We arrived at the snotty, overly fluorescent convenience store. There was only one truck in the parking lot, but the inside was crowded with people with white skin. Things like bandages, pajamas, skin color, and the color of the hospital seemed all in the process of increasing the amount of white parts.

Just before passing through the door, Mayu’s squishy expression tightened and her back straightened.

She looks like made of clay, I thought.

Once inside, we were greeted by a pale-faced shop assistant with not so much customer-friendly greeting, flat electronic noises, and a warm breeze waiting to blow away the thin membrane of my skin. As if the filth was being washed away. The dust and cold air were released.

“What are you going to buy?”

“I’ll have a look around.”

A shapely, composed expression and lips that made wasteful movements.

“I see. Well, I’ll copy the notes while I’m here.”

“Let’s go look around together.”

Mayu’s hand pulled at my sleeve. It was a tempting proposition. 

“You want to go back to your room with Maa-chan, right?”

Before I could reply, Mayu yawned. Ignoring the tears that flew down her face like a clown’s makeup, I agreed, “Yeah.”

After getting the notebook from her bag, I separated from Mayu and left towards the copying machine. 

On the way, I ran into my roommate. Seems like we’re both the problem children of the hospital. The eldest one, our chief, Watarai-san, would every day stagger out to loiter. Was that something inherent to the elder citizens, one could wonder. He always said he was visiting his wife. He slept too much during the day, so there was no denying that his day and night cycle was somewhat reversed. 

I bumped into one of those problem children, a high school student, in front of a bookshelf. His figure was sadly enough fitted to that of a high school kid absorbed in an erotic magazine. His exact age was a mystery, but he naturally warranted a treatment as a middle school boy. Incidentally, another roommate of ours, a middle-aged man, was accompanying him. When it rains, it pours.

“You’re here too, I see.”

The high school boy acknowledged me with a tinge of an accent in his voice. I didn’t really like him. He seemed like a person with no sense of humor and a lack of calcium. 

“Well, then.”

“Wait, I need to talk to you for a second.”

He grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me to stand next to him. He put the magazine back on the shelf and gave me a smirk.

“Hey, get me one of those.”

“I don’t want to, and also, I can’t walk with just one hand.”

“I’m not talking about the crutches.” I know.

The scowling face of the high school boy quickly turned into a lecherous one. 

“That girl, was it Mii-chan or Maa-chan? Anyway, I’m fine with her. Introduce me.”

 The way he said it, it seemed like he didn’t know Mayu was there. I see.

“No.”

I rudely refused him, glancing sideways at Mayu, who was going through the food shelves. I was done talking and turned to leave. 

“I told you to wait a sec.”

 Apparently, I have earned the ire of the high schooler. He got defensive.

“I have no reason to introduce her to anyone.”

Even though I refused with what I thought was a legitimate opinion, the high school kid was full of resentment. I knew he lacked calcium.

“You think it’s okay to act like this?”

“I’ll let you know, my unpretentious personality is ridiculously popular among a certain minority.”

Ridiculously popular, so in other words, sugar-coating having a ridiculous personality(20).

I wondered if by repairing my personality to some extent, I might be able to live more peacefully. The high school boy looked more and more heated, going from a winter fire to a summer blaze.

“I didn’t want to say this, but…”

He paused, the fire in his appearance suddenly extinguished.

His face, covered in pimples, stretched out in a bold smile. 

“You are the son of that kidnapper, aren’t you?”

My teeth grit by themselves. 

The hard grasp on the notebooks further damaged them.

“So Maa-chan does not know about it, right?”

In the blink of an eye, I saw red. The surface of my eyeballs dried. It hurt, blood oozed. 

“If she knew, she wouldn’t be dating you, would she?”

The high school student’s words made me choke up. My feet took a step back, the triumphant face covered in pimples morphed back into a kiss-ass grin. 

I wonder what kind of face I was making. 

“If you know that I’m the son of the kidnapper, it would be best for you not to try to provoke me.”

I used the method I hated the most.

In return for his piled-up ill will, I became all bark and no bite. The high school student, feeling pressured by his own delusions of the implications of the criminal’s blood relations, mumbled “Well, just think about it” as parting words and then fled to the back of the store, browsing through the items without purchasing any of them.

With the nuisance gone, I quickly went to take care of my business.

Somehow, the discomfort from before got processed and vomited out along the way.

“…He’s right.”

Because Mayu did not remember me.

But it was not my business.

Nagase was whatever either way, but Mayu was preferred. Both in the case of the high school kid and myself. 

Despite the difficulties, I arrived at my destination. I put the coins into the old-fashioned past-generation copy machine and requested for it to work overtime. The machine made an over-exaggerated sound and started its labor as if annoyed with me.

As the copy machine worked diligently without a word of complaint, myself filled with empty admiration, there came a knock on my shoulder and I turned. It was the middle-aged man with a mild tan who previously stood with his middle-schooler companion next to the magazine stand. The kid has not yet made his triumphant return.

The middle-aged man was a quiet book junkie. His drooping fringe and an unfortunate balding top of his head simply invited grief. He was hospitalized through to whiplash and had his neck brace immobilized in a collar. 

That middle-aged man offered me sweet bread without a word. What could that mean?

Even if it was supposed to be a bribe, it looked at best like a half-priced item.  

“…your…”

“Yes?”

I didn’t want to sound like a half-deaf person, but I still tried to cheer him on.

“Your girlfriend, give it to her…”

“Yes…?”

He said all that with his mouth sealed like a ventriloquist, then, clacking along his rolled-up sandals, went to the cash register. I was suddenly left accepting the only thing left behind, the sweet bun.

No, give… He said to give it to her, but the bun didn’t seem to have gone through the cash register yet.

Pressuring sales technique? Was he affiliated with the manufacturer?

I couldn’t see the intentions behind it, and it was not like I could just eat the bun.

Ah, I couldn’t help but reminisce about my childhood when I ate this stuff. Though there was no connection with this one. 

After a deep consideration, I decided with a broken heart to not give it to Mayu. I’d return it to the shelf later.

“But…”

Mayu sure was popular, huh.

Her appearance was unrivaled and she was mature, at least in public.

Just look at her back. Even though she was simply paying at the cash register, Maa-chan really was, uh… She transcended language to the point that I hesitated to express any kind of praise.

I mean, it would be weird to not get excited by her. I’m so proud of her.

I felt better. Adrenaline pumped, and a minute felt once again like sixty seconds. Annoyingly, the photocopier worked at its own pace, ignoring my determination.

Restless, I looked around the store and saw Watarai-sani pacing left and right in front of the liquor stand. It turned out all the people from my room had gathered here, even though it was not even eight o’clock. 

Watarai-san dangled his hands like a gibbon and greedily looked at the aluminum cans in the refrigerator. 

Recently he became aware of his rapidly deteriorating health and has taken a break from drinking.

But Watarai-san was weirdly dressed in long underpants and a dotera jacket(21). Not that it was something unusual for him. He was always wearing things like hanten(22) with a hole in it or walking around in hospital slippers, trampling the store with a self-aware attitude. These people were too uncivilized for their clothes and footwear.

“…Hm?”

“I prefer yakisoba.”

Did she think I was agonizing over buying cup noodles? Mayu, who had somehow appeared by my side, offered the former advice. Apparently, the front of the copier was a shelf of cup noodles. I picked one up without examining the brand.

“Are you done shopping?

“Yeah,” Mayu affirmed. In one of her hands, there was a small bag with a donut. 

Rolling up the pages out of the copying machine, I spoke to Mayu. 

“It’ll take a little longer on my end, so, yeah, why don’t you pick out something tasty for me?”

Returning the sweet bread to the shelf, I requested Mayu to do a thorough examination of the cup noodles. 

“Okay,” Mayu obediently agreed, bending her knees to eye the line of noodles.

Leaving Mayu to that, I returned to the copy machine. We stared at each other for a while, but its silence was hard to bear, so I decided to appreciate Mayu from the other side instead. Mayu was making an earnest effort to fulfill my request, repeatedly side-stepping and bending over. To be honest, Mayu didn’t have a discerning eye for instant food. She really was a young lady. Still, I tried to convince myself that whatever she chose would be the best one for me, learning from cooking manga.

Facing the copier that had finished the task, driven by a sense of duty, I intended to copy the next open page, placing the notebook on the table. “…”

My arm, captured in my field of vision, was left paralyzed. 

My eyes were glued to the margin of the page.

“…this.”

I lightly pressed that section with my finger.

Only the feel of paper.

When I let go, my fingers were left a bit stained charcoal black. 

“…She forgot to erase that.”

“Eh?”

“Nothing,” I said, turning to Mayu.

Hmmm.

 

TRANSLATION NOTES

HTML still hates me, sorry about the footnotes. I could release Vol2 on docs so it’s easier to navigate after I finish translating it all if someone wants it.

Also, you might have noticed there are more notes this time around. That’s because I found this series jp wiki that pretty much points out every single reference to pop culture in those books. I’ll go back and revise the previous chapter with that info in mind.

FOOTNOTES

1. Referring to the -ssu endings of sentences Nagase uses
2. Tōru is generally a masculine name
3.  According to Wikipedia: “The term à la meunière translates literally as ‘in the style of the miller’s wife.’ It means that the dish, usually fish, is first dusted with flour and then cooked in butter. Anything cooked à la meunière is also generally sprinkled with lemon juice and chopped parsley.”
4. Like this:
5. Apparently, this is a reference to an old anime series called Ikkyū-san. Wikipedia: “A running gag of Ikkyū-san is that whenever Ikkyū is trying to think of a plan, he sits in a lotus position, wets his two index fingers, and rotates them above his head.”
6. Another reference, this time to the game Romancing SaGa 3. Apparently, normal characters can be removed from the party at the bar, but one immediately says, “No, I don’t want to,” and cannot be removed.
7. Yumenoshima is the name of a landfill site, literally “Dream Island.” The name has become so well known that some people still refer to landfills for waste as Yumenoshima.
8. Short for “sound effect.”
9. Like this:
10. Doraemon reference; the “teke-te-ten” is an onomatopoeia of being ready, kind of like a drumroll
11. Reference to Miyazawa Kenji’s poem Ame ni mo makezu – “Despite the rain” or “Defeating the rain”
12. Yeah, if this whole paragraph was supposed to be like ravings of a madman, then it succeeded, since I have no idea how to make it make sense. So here.
13. Reference to Siren, a 2003 horror game – the environment was based on an abandoned village in Saitama prefecture. Now it’s a popular place for tests of courage for youtubers and tiktokers.
14. Another drumroll, courtesy of Doraemon reference.
15. I have a funny feeling I will have to revisit this.
16. No idea. 本当は、安の草体と以の草体が胃もたれしたってところかな。
17. It’s like three sweet buns stuck together in a triangle shape, each with their own filling.
18. A pun – Imachi 居待 means “waiting while sitting” and Imachizuki – 居待月, so imachi + kanji for the moon, tsuki – refers to the moon on the 18th night of the lunar month
19. This part is apparently a reference to My Neighbour Totoro’s song, but for the life of me I cannot figure out which part Mayu is supposed to be mumbling here. 
20. No, idea, if you have a better one, please tell me: 「飾らない性格が一部の少数派に馬鹿受けなので」馬鹿受けっていうのはね、人柄が馬鹿として受け止められるの略称だよ。
21. Padded kimono top worn usually during winter, similar in shape to haori.
22. Again, similar to haori.